I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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