That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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