Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
