How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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