my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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