His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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