Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
