You're completely useless in the revolution.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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