What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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