I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
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