grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
