So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Sober January is a disaster.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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