So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize