If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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