SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
