My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
