He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
