that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
