The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
