She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Use "feeling words"
Yay
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
