I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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