You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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