I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
now i know why i became what i already was.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
