i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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