shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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