so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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