Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
