in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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