Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You are a genius and a whore.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize