All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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