The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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