somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
