So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
