How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
