Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
