I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
