How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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