He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
