i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I have aggressive nipples.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
