He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I party with great urgency now.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
