I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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