you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
