Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
