he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
How's work?
Spinning.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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