y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm like, not good at living.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize