Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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