I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize