PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Everything about him screamed your future.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
