so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize