what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
