i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
