Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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