Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
