sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize