so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
