all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize