I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize