is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
