evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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