people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
