FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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