I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
