chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
