He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
