if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
