I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize