Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
