so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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