If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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