Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Your dad touched me again.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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