Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
