Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
