he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize