Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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