I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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