Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Randomize
