Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
