Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
