Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
