brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
