Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
